The power-couple of Jeepers and Jones face harsh criticism for what they named their newborns

Actress and singer come under backlash for weird baby names

Actress Julie Jeepers and her husband, composer/singer, Roger Washington Jones, have come under fire days after the birth of their twins.

Shortly around midnight Sunday morning Jones tweeted that Jeepers had just delivered the couple’s twins, and that both were healthy and “beautiful”. The double births became an instant media trending event on Twitter when Jones provided a two-word second tweet, “THEY’RE GORGEOUS!”. Congratulations ushered in from numerous social media outlets, and in celebration of the event Jones’ band, Freezer Furnace, performed live outside St. Wolfgang’s Clinic, the hospital where the twins came into the world. But celebration among fans, media sources and even several renowned family therapists turned decisively critical today when the couple announced the names they’d chosen for their son and daughter : John and Mary.

The couple’s choice of names had Twitter ablaze with another hashtag, STUPIDCELEBRITYBABYNAMES

Long-time tweeter, RCBUMPKINBOODLEYourManHo, summed up the general criticism when he wrote “WTF’s up with celebrities n dumbass names? Give a child something they can live with! #STUPIDCELEBRITYBABYNAMES”

Family therapist-to-the-stars, Dr. Glen Gliss, appeared on Good Morning Today, highly dubious of the couple’s choice.

“Celebrities often like to brand name their kids,” Gliss said during the interview. “I see nothing wrong with this practice, as long as it is done out of purely self-promotional motives or because the couple is competing with friends for the most original name they can come up with under a drug-induced haze. But when a parent gives their child a practical name like John or Mary solely because they like it, there will inevitably be  psychological damage somewhere down the line for the child. Even though I'm not a certified doctor or even attended college, I am of the strong professional opinion this couple are unfit to be parents, and should be prosecuted for child abuse.”

Popular Chef Tyler McCoy fired for racial slur

Executives at the All-Cuisine Network announced today they have fired Chef Tyler “Cookie” McCoy after the popular host admitted during a radio interview he had used the "N" word.

The award-winning chef and multi-book author, was dismissed today from ACN’s Yummy America after the show’s producer heard him confess on-air to using the “N” word almost 30 years ago. During the interview with radio talk-show host, Eulena Davis, McCoy was asked to comment on an incident he had written about in his book, The World Is A Funny and Yummy Place. In the book the incident reveals how McCoy once threw his paternal uncle out of his home after the man began making advances to a marlin McCoy had mounted in his basement den.

“I never cared for Uncle Sidney because he tended to give me the creeps, but I always tried to be cordial,” McCoy said on air. “But when he started groping that fish and gave it a french kiss -and right in front of my kids to boot- well I blew my stack. I said, N*gger, get the f*ck out of here! It was the only time I ever cursed in front of my kids, and I’m sorry for that but what’s a dad to do?”

After announcing McCoy's dismissal, ACN's quality-control executive, Will Nag, issued a press release on the network’s decision.

“Racist remarks, no matter how long ago they were said, will not be tolerated by this network. Ours is a family-oriented network, and we aim to encourage quality values among our youngest of viewers.”

Nag went on to announce the network has slated several new shows for the upcoming fall line-up, including Fresh Bait Seductions with Chef Sidney McCoy.

Chef Tyler "Cookie" McCoy admitted to using the "N" word after his uncle groped a marlin

Satan praises employees in Westboro Baptist Church congregation

During an interview while traveling to his private estate in Wonsan, N. Korea, Satan expressed his praise for his employees within the congregation of the Topeka, KS-based Westboro Baptist Church.

"These folks are some of the most industrious narcissists to work for my organization in a very long time," his Infernal Majesty told interviewer Pak Sook-Joo on Sunday. "I dare say if some of the higher-ups in the organization got off their asses and worked as hard and rabidly at my disciples at Westboro Baptist, we'd see some real progress toward the commencement of World War III. Not only is this congregation hard working, they individually embody the spirit of hate and self-righteousness so vital to the recruitment of new followers. And they ask for so little in return, that's what is so refreshing. Hand 'em some colorful and childishly scrawled protest signs and these folks are ready to start their day. These loyal disciples don't waste the day away on trivial things like personal grooming or wasting their focus on jobs or family. And unlike one of my CEO's who comes to mind, they never need teleprompters to get our policies out there to gullible ears. They always know where to show up and exactly what needs to be said. I will always remember the day I recruited Fred Phelps as one of the most opportune moments of my existence. He and the congregation have made ushering in the End Times a joyful experience. Hell, I haven't had this much fun since I convinced the Pentecostals that I like rock-and-roll music. Ah, life is good!"

---

Available NOW at Health Food Fanatics!